I've been thinking about this for awhile now and thought that it is time to share. I'm naturally a happy person, but had a long spell of grumpiness that I feel I'm coming out of quite well. There were several contributing factors. Motherhood is much harder than I ever dreamed. I used to cherish my independence, but now I have two kids who need quite a bit of my attention. I'm not a very patient person, but these kids need more patience than the average kid. I am learning though. You'd think almost 10 years into motherhood I'd be pretty patient, but I realize I am naturally an impatient person.
I recently had a hysterectomy because of constant abdominal pain. I've been mostly pain free since then, but had a bout of pain over the last few days. This made me realize how much of a contributor the constant pain was to my bad mood. I was more likely to snap at Aaron or the boys, swear over minor frustrations, etc.
Now for the biggest change, my acceptance of the problems in my life. Over the past year I've been informed that Luke has ADHD, then was told that it is not ADHD, but Asperger's. I've also been informed that Ryan has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). And to top it off, I've been dealing with my own anxiety / depression. I have come to accept these things over the last few months. I was in denial for a long time about Luke's Asperger's. I was looking for a cure and now I know that I need to focus my energy on looking for ways to help him function to the best of his ability. I was also looking for a cure for Ryan, but have switched to helping him learn how to manage his anxiety. In the process of doing this, our relationship is improving.
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